How come Starbucks won’t come to my hood?
I realize that incorporating “WE ACCEPT WIC” into the brand is a compromise, but there is real money to be made here. Between the drug trafficking, prostitution, and government funding who could ask for a better location.
Sure, you might not be able to sit writing the story of your life on your Mac without getting jacked, but everyone likes a good coffee.
All Starbucks would need to do is make a few changes and I have made a list to help them out.
- Lids that spin like rims.
- No paid employees, that’s what foster kids are for, bringing in extra cash.
- One size fits all cups. It confuses people to order a “Tall” and get a small or a “Grande” to get a medium and what does “Venti” mean?
- Have a menu that relates to the clientele with drink names like:
- Every beverage is the same, no matter the name because all the customers are high. They won’t figure it out, but if they do all the glass is bullet proof.
- Stripper Pole
A post I read over at Suburban Enlightenment inspired the above brilliance.