VACATION

Posted: June 28, 2011 in Motivation

Well, it’s vacation time. By the weekend I’ll be on the beach digging big holes, watching dolphins, enjoying fireworks with my kids and eating a lot of chocolate cherry fudge. This sounds great, in my head, but every year at this time, I start running the other images through my mind as well.

1. THE OCEAN: I don’t know how to swim so that’s an obstacle. Plus, I’m from the mid-west and feel like the ocean is the end of the world. The possibility of being sucked out and drowned because your tangled in seaweed (yuck) is horrifying. Not to mention that my mother calls me every summer to tell me about another shark attack in the news somewhere, anywhere. “You’re not going into the ocean are you?” Thanks mom, as if I didn’t have enough stuff in my head.

2. SAND: It’s dirty, gets everywhere, and makes me gag if I bite down on it in my sandwich (no pun intended). You just can’t escape the stuff and if you see how I walk across the beach, you would get a good laugh.

3. BIRDS: What the F? Just please leave me alone.

4. IN-LAWS: Yes, in reality it’s their vacation. They pay for our stay and control where we will be sleeping. This year we are staying in adjoining hotel rooms. In our one room, two adults and two kids, so I guess we won’t need the “do not disturb” sign. I might just hang it on the adjoining door just for fun though.

5. IN-LAWS: I will have no voice and become the passive parent waiting my turn with the kids. Okay not fair, I named them twice, but plan to assert myself a little better because I look forward to having some memories with my kids too.

6. PEACE AND RELAXATION: Umm yeah right! Just packing the car to get there is exhausting. Most people enjoy sitting on the beach, reading, and listening to the sound of the ocean. Not me. I’m a very quiet person and have you ever truly listened to the ocean before? It’s unbelievably loud with its waves crashing all the time. There are people yelling everywhere, birds chattering, boats, and forget it if there’s any wind—my ears feel like there ringing already. I rather sit in my car with the AC running.

7. FUDGE: Last year I ate about five pounds total. I also weighed about 40 pounds more. If I can control my vacation stress, I hope to only savor a few squares instead of making myself sick on top of everything else.

Therefore, my goal for this year is not just survival, but to try and truly enjoy the experience with my family. Maybe next year we’ll go see the world’s largest frying pan instead. At some point, we have to take control and hurdle these obstacles that deter us from happiness.

One more thing, don’t count on me bringing anything back—I’m a cheap arse.

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