Posted: October 3, 2011 in Just Life
Tags: , , , , ,

I managed to not post one word in the month of September. Why? It’s simple, I didn’t feel like writing. I’ve been in a dark place lately and though writing is my passion, I’ve come to realize it doesn’t have to be my only one.

I’m tired of being what everyone else expects me to be, but then I’m learning that it’s really me trying to become what I think everyone expects me to be. Does that make sense?

As we get older, we slowly delete the things from our lives that used to make us unique and stand out as someone special. Last week I took my friends children to the mall. We were trying on glasses at Claire’s and I apparently kept picking ones that looked “too ordinary” though I had my eyes on a pair I knew would make me look like a freak if I wore them.

Isn’t that what we’re supposed to do, fit in, and be like everyone else? It was at that moment I realized—I’m seriously not enjoying my life.

Sure, there are good times and bad, vicissitudes, but what I am referring to are all the small things we sacrifice about ourselves to make ourselves “better.”

As kids, we would wear our Superman cape to school until the day someone made fun of us. When we feel embarrassed, humiliated, stressed, lonely, confused, or even in love we slowly change the very things about us that we love about ourselves.

Then one day we wake up miserable because we have fallen out of love with ourselves and it spreads to everyone around us.

Therefore, when I found a pair of glasses that I truly liked and a child reminded me that it’s okay to have a playful soul I bought them. Today I wore them out in public too, not because I want to be different, but because the memory of the purchase made me smile. It made me feel lifted to put them on this morning.

Plus, the kids told me I could “rock the nerd look” and that just feels awesome.


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