MAMA NEEDS SOME JEANS

Posted: January 6, 2012 in Just Life, Motivation
Tags: , , ,

How many of you have already failed at your New Years Resolution?

You said you wouldn’t eat any more of your favorite cookies because once you start you can’t stop. If you don’t stop you’ll never lose that six hundred pounds by the end of the year.

You couldn’t help it, the Oreo jumped out of its sleeve and into your milk. Now you’re not only fat, but a failure.

Well, that sucks, but guess what?

You’re only a failure if you stop trying for the rest of the year. I can’t stand people who say they’re going to stop cursing and two hours later tell me to go truck it somewhere until next year.

What, you can’t try one more time to keep a clean mouth by the end of the year?

Urg, I say with a waving fist.

Failure gives us experience and provides us with opportunities to become better, try new things, and discover new paths.

Last year I brought in the New Year on the sparks of Katy Perry’s Firework. All I wanted was to find my own spark and keep the momentum moving.

Well, I found some momentum and ended up with a spark up my ass with nowhere to take a shit.

Thanks Katy.

However, in the end I accomplished more than if I hadn’t made the effort, so hang in there. Have some fun and stop beating yourself up.

And when you try on that pair of skinny jeans and they make you look like a ripe pear on a stick, it’s not you, it’s the asshole that designed them.

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Comments
  1. Aimee says:

    That made me laugh on day when I really needed to laugh. Thanks, Lady.

  2. Sandi Ormsby says:

    Yeah, thanks Katy!

    (and the damn skinny jeans designer.)

    Ohhh, I feel much better!

    Sandi
    http://www.ahhsome.wordpress.com
    Lake Forest, CA

  3. Writing Jobs says:

    Great post. I enjoyed reading your blog today.

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  4. shoutabyss says:

    I decided to make one and only one New Year’s resolution for 2012. And I gave myself to the end of the year to accomplish it. So technically I can say I haven’t failed yet.

  5. free2bme123 says:

    I agree with the above comments, you put a smile on my face as well 🙂

  6. Just thinking… now that you found my blog, have you found your Spark? 😉 All the best to you and thanks for liking my post! I appreciate it a lot!

  7. DomeniiNebunie says:

    Loving your blog, your writing style is really great and down to earth.
    Technically I have failed one of mine which was to do yoga every day. But the reason I wanted to do it was to get fitter, so as long as I have more days where I did yoga than days I didn’t by the end of the year and feel fitter I will count myself successful 🙂

  8. Agree with you here – about both the resolutions and the skinny jeans…:P

  9. Lucas. says:

    I agree, my goal is to lose 3 stone by the end of the year. I pig out a little every so often but, I still try. What’s the point of quitting after one little transgression?

    Much better to keep plugging away at it, safe in the knowledge that you are staying true to your ideals. Great blog, by the way.

  10. Jessica Hutchison says:

    You can’t fail if you never make resolutions to begin with! 🙂
    Kidding, we all make them, but I got sick of them this year and decided to boycott.
    Love the skinny jeans comment. Are there 10 people on earth who look good in them?

  11. J.C.V. says:

    Hysterical! Funny stuff, I wish I did look like the pear on a stick. LOL

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