NEEDS

Posted: June 27, 2012 in Motivation, Process
Tags: , , , ,

Maybe Angie Harmon can help me?

I’m a little fired up tonight and I’m not completely sure why, but something about feeling that burn makes me need to write. I took a break from writing because I’m so sick and tired of juggling my time between it and them. When I use the term “them” I mean everything and everyone in my life that needs just as much or more attention than myself.

Have an ant problem, stop writing.

Kids are hungry, stop writing.

Someone smashed out your front window, stop writing.

Your sister has a crisis, stop writing.

Have a fight with your partner, stop writing.

Laundry, yard work, dishes, bathing, vacation, birthdays, holidays, exhaustion, eating boxes of chocolate cherries, Rizzoli & Isles, depression, —STOP WRITING!

Seriously, the list is never-ending, so how do people succeed at writing?

Well after taking my break to see what would happen, to see if I could live a simple “them” type of life, I failed. Sure, I’m not as moody and I’m getting a ton of other things done, but I’m not fulfilled or completely happy. Everyone else seems happier around me, but I feel divided, torn, chopped in half and dramatic.

I’m not good at being content and in the now of scrubbing Crayola drawings off the wall. I like to stare out the window and think, go for walks and take pictures of condoms, day dream, feel restless at night, and figure out how I can get more people to read about my bullshit life.

Sure I’m not the best writer, but I’m not the best at anything else either. My life feels like it’s in shambles and I’m trying to swim under a pool of fire.

Unfortunately, I’m that writer who gets moody when I can’t get my words onto a page or chunk of skin. I try hard not to sacrifice my time with loved ones because I don’t want to miss out on moments I can never get back, but when I am away from my words for too long, no one wants me around anyway.

I need “it” and “them” and if I need to learn to breathe fire so I won’t drown then I guess I better get used to the heat.

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Comments
  1. I feel your pain! thanks for the like …. them/us + write = difficult balance

  2. Jodie says:

    Well said. 🙂 I’m glad I’m not the only one that feels the need to write; as if my sanity depends on having time to pen simple syllables together into some cohesive sentence.. wow did I just write that? Lol, anyways, you get what I mean. 🙂

  3. natasiarose says:

    Honestly, I can only get writing done when I turn off my wireless connection. Stupid distracting Internet! Always being so hilarious and informative.

    Luckily for me, my partner loves when I write so she can watch tv shows I don’t like while I’m distracted. 😉

  4. Elle-Belle says:

    I know that feeling. Ergo, I still write even with creepy neighbor reading my blog. XD

    ~C

  5. Sam Martino says:

    Oh how those words cut both ways… Cheers!

  6. Perhaps a small recoriding device would help, that way while you are tending to “them” you can hold on to those bits and pieces that come into your head, so you can reference them later when “they” give you the time. Just a thought.

  7. confessionalpoet says:

    I’ve got a match; all we need is a little friction and we can ignite you. I would, however, recommend that you burn not as a Dragon, but as a Phoenix. There is so much more strength to be had in immolation as the genesis of life.

  8. Heather says:

    It’s definitely hard to divide yourself between what everyone else needs from you and what you need. But you manage to stay a much more sane individual if you can balance yourself in there. Unfortunately all the parenting books only tell you that you need to do this, not HOW. *sigh*

  9. Aah, I’m in not that mood of not being able to fit writing in, not because of my mood, but because I’m just too slow at it. Takes me forever to complete a post, and sometimes I just don’t feel like baring my agitated soul, haha. Trying to work on that…

    On a separate note, I nominated you for the Illuminating Blogger Award! Info is in my last post. If you don’t feel like doing it, that’s fine, but you deserve it. Have a great day!

  10. Ahhh – yes the balance of meeting other’s demands and needs. I found I had to just say that my writing was important – even if it isn’t great literature. I write because it makes me feel alive and helps me release emotions and stress. Keep writing.

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