ONE, TWO, THREE…

Posted: December 30, 2012 in Just Life, Motivation
Tags: , , , , , ,

owl

In high school, I used to write for the school newspaper and I had my own column, which was pretty rock star for this nerd. My biggest hit was my list of, “101 Things to Do over Christmas Break.”

Since I was a weirdo and writing for a relatively normal teen audience no one ever took me serious, but little did they know I actually did the things on my list.

For example, I counted how many licks it really took to get to the center of Tootsie Roll Pop. However, I quickly learned that no one would ever have the same number and that my work was not verifiable. Each lick depended on whether you had a wet or dry tongue and how slow or fast you moved it. Are you a sucker or a biter? All these things must be take into consideration when making calculations and can truly serve as entertainment for hours.

Here is a list of things I did during 2012 that I now pass on to those of you who are still seeking things to do in the New Year.

  1. Measure your urine output. My record for the year was 33 ounces in one squat.
  2. Shave one arm and see if the hair grows back darker than the hair on the other one. Warning: if you sleep with your face on your arm the stubble is quite uncomfortable.
  3. Go on the Suze Orman show to share with the world that you’re poor as shit and embarrass your entire family. Warning: This could result in divorce.
  4. Don’t write to Oprah, she never writes back.
  5. Watch the documentary Bed Bug Apocalypse. Warning: you may never want to buy, barter, or steal anything from anyone or anywhere ever again. Moreover, you may already have them in your home and not even know it!

The best part about doing these things is that I didn’t even need to think anything out ahead of time. I just went with the flow like good ole Mr. Owl.

I hope my life inspires you to do something better with your own.

 

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Comments
  1. Wishing you a year ahead of great health, true joy and “enough” abundance. Oh – if personal happiness is on your “bucket list,” check out: http://thewalkbook.com/claiming-the-happy-in-new-years/

  2. writermomangela says:

    Happy 2013!!

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