Posted: January 2, 2013 in Just Life
Tags: , , , , , , , ,


My letter to Manson is nearly complete and with the prison system weighing heavily on my mind, I’ve come to some conclusions.

Clearly Lifers eat healthier because rarely do you see an obese guy walking around in chains. This alone is further proof that fast food is not good for us, yet why are we not pumping it through to people waiting to die on our tax dollars?

They also get free healthcare, recess, exercise, naps, time to themselves and the one thing that gripes me the most, a free education.

Every time I read about some guy in jail earning a degree it pisses me off. Even if they were to get out and start over with their lives, they’re still felons and most likely wouldn’t be hired in their field.

Though that’s not much different from you and I struggling to look for work, they just don’t have the burden of student loans on top of it all. They also have programs to help them transition back into the real world, which shouldn’t something like that exist for stay-at-home moms returning to work instead?

Of course, all this thinking resulted in another brilliant idea. I’m only going to write to the best and brightest of the Supermax system. I plan to take my knowledge to a completely new level and earn a higher degree for the mere cost of postage.

Sure some of you dream killers will say it’s not accredited knowledge and you’ll be jealous because it wasn’t your idea, but in the end I’ll be smarter than all y’all, so suck it!

  1. Tom G says:

    The whole get-your-degree-in-prison-for-free thing has long rankled me. There were some grim occasions I considered going to the stir. Then there’s the weights. I guarantee you all the major bench press records are shattered daily in some dingy facilities by people just aching to get free and put their new-found power to crushing use on the streets.

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