Posted: January 3, 2013 in Just Life
Tags: , , , , , , , ,


Dear Mr. Manson,

I’m writing this letter in hopes of gaining some advice, which I know only you can provide.

How can I get more people to follow my blog?

I realize you might not know what a blog is due to being in prison so long, but it’s basically the same as a cult, minus the sex and drugs because it’s viral.

What I need to know is how to get inside the heads of others and make them do what I want them to do?

I not only want for all my followers to hit “Like” every time I post, but to also sacrifice their own blog space by clicking “Reblog.”

Even if they “Shared” my blog on their social media accounts like Twitter, Facebook, and Pinterest, I would feel more competent as a leader. Some days my stats make me feel depressed and forgotten. Do you ever feel this way?

Just to clarify, in case you’re not familiar with social media, it’s kind of like talking to the guy in the next cell through a mirror.

I’ve also been thinking about getting a tattoo, but I’ll save that for the next letter.

I look forward to your response.

Keep watching your back.

Fiercely Yours

p.s. My mom says hi.

  1. Teeny Bikini says:

    Oh, this is wonderfully creepy and hysterical. Thanks for the laugh as I am sitting through a boring conference call at work. Keep hope alive. I am going to have a look around your blog now.. Good luck in the New Year!

  2. cestgigi says:

    You could also ask someone who is not in prison, so who may be more familiar with today’s technology. I just looked up the top ten cults, and it seems there are no former leaders that aren’t either dead,or in jail, so ignore the first part of the comment. Maybe go ask a popular seventh-grader how they get their friends to do what they do. And the upside is they understand social media!

  3. Tom G says:

    It took Manson quite a while to get to where he got. While in the stir on lesser charges, he read How to Win Friends and Influence People. After getting out and reaching Haight Ashbury, he plied crazy kids with fistfulls of acid. Right time, right place. Plus he was buddies with the Beach Boys, whom he could borrow/steal from any number of goodies, or just name drop like crazy.

  4. Lol, that is hilarious!!!!

  5. Thai says:

    This has made my evening! Don’t worry I think you have it in you to be a great Charles Manson-like leader. Thanks for stopping by to like my post, be sure to let me in on those brainwashing tips when he replies

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