Posted: June 16, 2013 in Darks, Just Life
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,


The other day I took a bike ride through the cemetery and had a lot of fun.

Fun? Hell yeahs!

See in the hood, cemeteries are the perfect locations for small events like hooker meet-n-greets, dealer conferences, and tweaker trainings.

Some locations even have a community garden where people stand around drinking beer all day, but I wouldn’t advise eating from the fruits of labor. Once you see a homeless man bathing in the rain collection barrel you’ll understand why.

Anyway, back to the fun.

I rode my bike and when I ride my bike I wear a helmet.

FYI no one in the hood wears a helmet, NO ONE except bike cops.

Enter fun.

Every single event at the cemetery came to an end as I cruised along all fuzz like.

The look on peoples punked faces as they exited the grounds were priceless. Yup, not the 5.0, just a nerdy white snitch bitch in a helmet!

It was as the last group left that I decided I no longer want to be cremated. At one time I thought it would be nice to dime bag my ashes amongst the peeps and let them spread me wherever they wanted, but now I see so much more potential in owning a plot.

After all who wants to take the chance of ending up in a junk drawer or on a mantel in a household of screaming brats? Or sold off and snorted by mistake? No thank you.

Instead I want this to be my resting place:


Where trees look like demon rabbits…

Rabbit Tree

Where armless Cindy needs help picking her crotch wedgie…

Armless Cindy

Where groundhogs dig you an escape route for when it’s time to resurrect…



And where I can eat pizza with George because the party never stops…



Never stops…



[Pictures are all my own… for once!]

  1. LOL… and why not…

  2. livesinstone says:

    I’m loving the demon rabbit tree.

  3. Thanks you much for the fine article of wich much information I have been needing is inside of. I will be sure to pay much visits and atention to all future articles of such good information. Keep up with the good hard work. And speaking of hard, I have for selling some magic pills that will make you like a tree in your soft areas. Only fifty glabotniks for a bottle that will give you much happy pants for a long time.

  4. Trinity says:

    Love it! I love cemeteries, but I’ve never managed to see that side of one before… maybe I look too much like a cop! 😉

  5. I LOVE those pictures. But now I feel very sorry for Cindy and her wedgie.

  6. Made me laugh out loud. Go on with your helmet wearing self 🙂

  7. Kenny Wilson says:

    Very amusing! Loved the bit about the escape route. Had a similar experience in the English Cemetery in Florence but that involved nuns.

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