Posts Tagged ‘Art’

Some writing inspiration for all my peeps.

 

VOICE

Posted: October 19, 2013 in Motivation
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We’re all part of someone’s story.

I wonder how many antagonists have been created in my honor.

 

EXPERIENCE

Posted: October 11, 2013 in Motivation
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Let’s go create an experience today then procrastinate before writing about our adventure!

Note: Must own a mustache and yellow glasses to participate (void where prohibited).

 

So what Ray Bradbury reveals in this video is that to be a successful writer you need the following:

  • White shorts
  • An inflatable dinosaur
  • Four cans of Coors
  • A personal metaphor

Oh, and to WRITE, a lot!

 

[Note: If I owned the video clip I probably wouldn’t be writing this blog, well maybe I would, who knows, but you get the point.]

CREEPY

Posted: October 9, 2013 in Just Life
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CreepyAntoine was right, hide yo kids!

So creepy!

Stop looking at me Ewok!

 

[Note: I don’t know where I found this GIF and it can never be returned for it is forever filed under Nightmares.]

IMG_6145

Today on my way to the Blue Line I noticed one of my hood brothers walking towards me wearing a Batman shirt. This was exciting because I too was wearing a Batman shirt and decided I needed to some how honor our super matching.

I thought about those people who own Volkswagen Beetles and how they wave to one another as if they belong to some elite Beetle club… then I got it… I knew what to do!

With a quick thumbs up and flap of the elbow I threw down my new Bat sign that said:

Yo, look at our badass Batman shirts, what?!!!

The look on his face was nothing more than clear:

Crazy bitch best keep walkin before I give her a Batman beat-down.

BAM

[Note: No one was hurt in the actual making of this post]

Jesus

Why does the day of rest never feel like a day of rest?

Perhaps I haven’t created anything as significant as the light or Adam and Eve or lets say the Universe, but somehow I’m just as exhausted as if I did.

As a struggling writer I feel I can relate to needing a day of rest. I mean how many starts did God have before he finished anything? Obviously if you look around he had a gazillion ideas. Imagine what his original pitch must have sounded like:

So there’s this creature that lives in the water and it can breathe… well it doesn’t breathe air, but water… and one day it ends up on land… so… it uses its fins to crawl… but then starts breathing air… but he doesn’t know… hmmm never mind… let’s say he has arms and legs and he actually likes trees… I think I’ll call him an Ape or Monkey or Gorilla… anyway he swings down and he’s playing in the dirt and he makes what looks like a weird head… oh wait how about instead we take out the monkey and we make some guy out of the dirt… he can be Dirt Man… no you don’t like that… okay just Man… oooo how about Adam… it can be a pun for… now dat a man…not sexy enough?… huh… well his rib fell off so I can make… whoa… a cooler man… check it… Wo-man! He… no She… has boobies and will eat a forbidden fruit!

Sold!

I think God would agree that writing a novel and trying to get it published might be a little more complicated than saying, “Let there be light.”

Let there be an Agent (that really likes me and has a twisted sense of humor)!

See, nothing, it’s way harder.

However, in order to at least stay in the light I have decided to commit to honoring the Sabbath.

Every Sunday I will post a picture of my Stats page from the category “Search Engine Terms.” By doing this we will honor the Sabbath through observation and remembrance of things once created on my blog.

You must have faith that this will be fun because there are some poor souls out there Googling terms that miraculously lead them to my blog. I’m sure they leave with great enlightenment.

For Example, check out these top search terms:

Blog Stat 1

  1. Fiercely Yours Blog: Someone is stalking me by searching just my blog title instead of subscribing, but that’s cool. Hey, maybe it’s God, he’s so mysterious.
  2. Sawtooth Shark? Yup doesn’t seem to fit I know, but click the profile pic on my About Me page for the low down.
  3. Then of course, searching for Wonder Woman delivers a few here because where else would they need to go?

Anyway, stayed tuned to find out about those girl fights and so much more.

May you rest in peace.

Correction, don’t get too peaceful because that means something else. I don’t think you’re quite ready for a weird funeral.

Happy Sabbath.

[Picture credits: One is mine and one is not.]

Helmet

The other day I took a bike ride through the cemetery and had a lot of fun.

Fun? Hell yeahs!

See in the hood, cemeteries are the perfect locations for small events like hooker meet-n-greets, dealer conferences, and tweaker trainings.

Some locations even have a community garden where people stand around drinking beer all day, but I wouldn’t advise eating from the fruits of labor. Once you see a homeless man bathing in the rain collection barrel you’ll understand why.

Anyway, back to the fun.

I rode my bike and when I ride my bike I wear a helmet.

FYI no one in the hood wears a helmet, NO ONE except bike cops.

Enter fun.

Every single event at the cemetery came to an end as I cruised along all fuzz like.

The look on peoples punked faces as they exited the grounds were priceless. Yup, not the 5.0, just a nerdy white snitch bitch in a helmet!

It was as the last group left that I decided I no longer want to be cremated. At one time I thought it would be nice to dime bag my ashes amongst the peeps and let them spread me wherever they wanted, but now I see so much more potential in owning a plot.

After all who wants to take the chance of ending up in a junk drawer or on a mantel in a household of screaming brats? Or sold off and snorted by mistake? No thank you.

Instead I want this to be my resting place:

Cemetery

Where trees look like demon rabbits…

Rabbit Tree

Where armless Cindy needs help picking her crotch wedgie…

Armless Cindy

Where groundhogs dig you an escape route for when it’s time to resurrect…

 IMG_5460IMG_5457

 

And where I can eat pizza with George because the party never stops…

IMG_5463

 

Never stops…

IMG_5448

 

[Pictures are all my own… for once!]

FLASHBACK

Posted: January 7, 2013 in Just Life
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Me on New Years Eve.

Me on New Years Eve

When I was a kid, my mom experienced a bout of paranoia after people started receiving bombs in the mail during the 1980’s. She wouldn’t let me explore interesting containers when we went out for walks and often said, “Don’t pick that up, it could be a bomb!”

“Mom it’s a Pepsi can.”

“I said it could be a bomb, so put it down!”

Total fun, don’t be jealous.

I think it’s time to write Theodore Kaczynski and say thanks.

Meanwhile does anyone else think he could be my daddy?

The Unabomber

The Unabomber

Photo Credits:

Pic #1 Mine.

Pic #2 from Wikipedia, though originally a sketch by some under paid police artist that I altered, therefore making it now mine.

Are those scratch 'n sniff?

Are those scratch ‘n sniff?

After a few days of experimenting, my first pair of dirty panties are ready for delivery to some lucky high paying panty sniffer.

I wanted my first time doing this to be special, so instead of going with a pair from my sterile collection, I chose a pattern.

I’m not sure if this pattern has an official name, but I call it Mushroom Bottom and if you look closely, it’s obvious why.

Mushroom Bottoms Pattern

Mushroom Bottoms

Upon further inspection, you’ll see that the waistband is starting to unravel and snagged in the Ziploc.

Do you think it would be wise to include a merchandise “sold as is” disclaimer on the purchase order? Or does that make them like a limited edition pair?

I’m also wondering if I need to include an expiration date somewhere on the packaging, but that involves further experimenting to see how long my scent actually lasts. However, I did suck the air out thinking it might prolong the shelf life.

It looks like there’s going to be a lot of trial-and-error research happening over the next few weeks.

I’ve also concluded that I might need a better branding idea for the packaging, since the happy face seems a bit amateurish and needs to make a more profound statement than just: Enjoy!

Perhaps, I should order a pair from someone already established in the business and experience first hand what it’s like to take that first whiff. Surely, I’ll be inspired.

Now if I can only figure out how to wear and bag these C-Strings?

Looks comfy.

Looks comfy.

Photo Credit:

#1 not mine, #2 mine, and #3 obviously not mine.